


I'm Not Going Anywhere

by josephseeds_rosary



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 12:41:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17059985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josephseeds_rosary/pseuds/josephseeds_rosary
Summary: Alright do not be fooled, this is a hot ass mess.  For those who don’t follow Regan and Joseph’s “story”, this might be a bit confusing.  This is the first time I’m exploring angst and fluff with these two knuckleheads, and my friend Schuyler and I thought this might be a good way to do it.  They’re constantly at war with each other, and I wondered what it would be like to explore and improvise the contrasting side of them; forgiving each other and acknowledging that while they are absolute MONSTERS, they are still human.  Especially good ol’ Joe here.  Thanks for poking around in my brain a bit, Sky!





	I'm Not Going Anywhere

**Author's Note:**

> Alright do not be fooled, this is a hot ass mess. For those who don’t follow Regan and Joseph’s “story”, this might be a bit confusing. This is the first time I’m exploring angst and fluff with these two knuckleheads, and my friend Schuyler and I thought this might be a good way to do it. They’re constantly at war with each other, and I wondered what it would be like to explore and improvise the contrasting side of them; forgiving each other and acknowledging that while they are absolute MONSTERS, they are still human. Especially good ol’ Joe here. Thanks for poking around in my brain a bit, Sky!

They were exhausted. Exhausted, and drained from the constant fighting. In every instance they managed to see each other, it was time spent either indulging in the joys of the flesh, or arguing with each other until their throats ran dry. While the former was obviously more enjoyable for the both of them, the latter was damn near impossible to avoid. It was always the same argument; Regan trying to convince her counterpart to end the Bliss production, and the violence against innocent people, and the torturing, and the conditioning. The list went on. Trying to convince him that there are ways in which to preach to his flock without brainwashing them and turning them into mindless zombies. 

She made it a point to tell him since the beginning that those who want to believe will believe… and the others? What does it matter? If a Collapse is indeed forthcoming, he can at least say that he tried to reach their ears without the use of brute strength. She thought that given their circumstances now, she might be able to use her words to alleviate the war they waged against each other. But when it came to his methods, Joseph was a difficult man to sway. If murder and torture could advance his Project, then so be it. 

Regan knew this, yet she continued to push him. Especially now since the Bliss had started to affect her in ways which she had shared with him in confidence. And when he wouldn’t cave or budge, she would hit the Project in its most vital parts. The cult would retaliate against the Resistance. Then her and Joseph would come full circle, ranting at each other like two broken records playing in unison. 

But the fighting would always dissipate eventually. It never escalated too much. There was no use in allowing themselves to get caught up in the inevitable; they would continue trying to tear each other down from afar anyway. The insanity of this routine they had fallen into was almost laughable.

This night, however, was different.

Perhaps it was emotion and heart coming into play months later that made their conflicts more heated and intense. Or it could very well have been the aggravation of it all. As the passion between them grew, the fighting became more vicious. Joseph was known by his following to remain calm and collected, but Regan could easily test him with her scrutiny and criticism. She continued to push him further that night, threatening to dismantle the Henbane one cultist and Bliss field at a time until he had no choice but to yield to the Resistance. It was the same thing she threatened every time, but they were both nearing the ends of their ropes.

With vexation laced in his steel blue eyes, Joseph stalked towards Regan until her back hit the wall.

“You try my patience, girl.” he growled, and grabbed her wrist before she could push him out of her way. “Every night you question me, and every night I give you the same explanation. You question our methods, our plan… the path in which we are meant to follow-”

“You’re putting innocent people in harm’s way, and it’s not right! I keep telling you this, it won’t end well! It doesn’t have to be like this, and you know it!” Regan yelped as the grip on her wrist tightened. He was stronger than she had anticipated, and as the volume of his voice swelled, his hold on her became more painful. This ballistic response she had pulled from him made her freeze. It was a side of him she didn’t recognize. She winced and attempted to pry at his fingers to no avail as he went on.

“And you believe you have less blood on your hands than I do?! You fail to understand still; I am doing what God entrusted me to do! I am leading our family to salvation! I am saving them from their own sins. And those who do not believe, those who do not see… I will make them see! They are given every reason to have Faith, and every reason to follow God’s plan! They will learn to trust me, they will learn to trust God-!”

“Joseph, please! It’s- AH! You’re hurting me!”

At the sound of her desperate cry, he threw her wrist to the wall and turned away, cupping his face in his hands to compose himself. Regan’s tiny sobs were the only sounds that filled the room. Normally she wouldn’t have been so quick to admit her feelings, but she feared him in that moment. Glancing down at her bruised wrist, then back at him… she had never seen him so angry. That wild look in his eyes was the first trace of Wrath in him that she had ever caught sight of. She wiped her cheeks with her good hand and bit back her sobs as Joseph let out an exasperated sigh.

“It is not a matter of right or wrong.” he began, turning around to face her. “It is a matter of serving God. And every time you run back into my arms, I have high hopes that you might finally understand. That you and I might walk through the Gates of Eden together, hand-in-hand. But you continue to resist and judge us. Judge me.”

There was still anger lingering inside him that shook his voice when he spoke. And for a second, Regan thought she could hear his voice cracking over those last few words. 

Yet she gave him no response. She turned away to conceal the pain in her expression and held her wrist, which she could feel was bruising. What more could she say to him at this point? He would never give in to her demands, no matter how hard she pushed. He was too grounded in his devotion to God and the Project to even consider it. It was safe to say that she was afraid to even try her luck.

Despite the mumblings of the Resistance, she knew in her heart that he was a man with pure intentions, trying to do good, taking orders from a higher power that may or may not exist… but instead bringing upon destruction through his practices. She thought that if she could point him in the right direction, things would become easier. Especially now since she was getting to know every part of him. Hell, they were spending every night with each other now. But he had become her greatest challenge. It was then that all urges to oppose him evaded her. She couldn’t find it within herself to press him any further. They were both too beside themselves to let it continue. It was best to leave well enough alone for now.

Heaving another sigh, Joseph dropped the tension from his shoulders and made his way to the bedroom.

“Come to me when you are ready to listen to reason.” 

————————————————————————————–------------------------------------------

A deafening silence filled the room after the door slammed shut behind him. Slowly, Joseph sank down onto the bed and buried his face in his hands. He quickly became aware of the fact that his emotional outburst left Regan staggered and flustered. The fear he saw in her eyes coupled with the sensation that lingered on his palm from squeezing her arm made him feel shame. He never meant to hurt her; he just wanted her to see things his way. If he hadn’t allowed his emotions to overcome him, the situation would have played out much differently. She would be curled up at his side right now, despite any leftover tension between them. Even at their lowest of lows, they could not keep away from each other. It was damn near frustrating how a woman like her could affect him in such a way.

It took no more than fifteen minutes for Joseph to calm himself, and once his anger subsided, the solitude began to feel punishing. He was unsure if he could remedy the situation, but the least he could do was try. He stood from the bed and walked over to the door, listening to see if she was still out there, but he heard nothing. A small wave of panic rippled through him. She never left him. She might not come back to his feet to grovel after every disagreement, but she never left him alone. Even if she was the angriest she had ever been with him, it wasn’t like her to leave. She always waited until early morning when there were no wandering eyes around. But she couldn’t leave… what if she never came back?

There was no sight of her in the small common area, but Joseph noticed that the front door was cracked ever so slightly. Tiny dollops of water were dripping from the sink faucet. He followed the light draft that chilled the room and opened the door to see Regan sitting on the wooden porch steps. She sat there in silence, tapping her foot lightly against the dirt while staring up at the stars. She had a damp cloth hanging over her wrist, perhaps to sooth the pain. He was relieved to know that she hadn’t gone far.

When he sat down beside her and touched her shoulder, she jumped and dropped her head.

“Please don’t, I just want to be left alone. I don’t wanna fight anymore tonight.” Her voice was fragile and shaky, as if she would shed more tears if she so much as glanced at him. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Joseph replied, moving her hair away from her face. Regan fidgeted under his touch, trying to hide her puffy eyes and the tears that stained her cheeks, but she knew he had seen everything. He had never seen her so upset before, but even when appearing disheveled, she was the most beautiful thing he would ever lay eyes upon. After drying her eyes with his thumbs, he nodded toward her arm and reached for it. “Let me.”

She hesitated before turning her body and leaned into him, allowing him to rest her arm upon his lap while he studied the marks he left. He exhaled through his nose at the sight of her bruises, feeling his heart grow heavy. “I thought you left.”

She scoffed and shrugged her shoulders idly.

“Well I can’t exactly go anywhere and defend myself if I need to, can I?”

“Of course not.”

Joseph stroked her arm softly before bringing her wrist to his lips and kissing it. Then he took the cloth back in his hands, and smoothed it over the area that seemed to bring her the most pain. There was a short moment of nothingness before he spoke. As soon as he opened his mouth, Regan braced herself for the worst.

“I need to apologize for my behavior.” Joseph began, and her eyes flickered to him. Neither of them had ever formally apologized to each other for… anything, really. The modesty that poured from his lips as he spoke surprised her, and for a moment she didn’t know how to react. 

“Raising my voice at you, and hurting you both inside and out… making you feel fear. It is never my intention to do so. I allowed my emotions to overtake me. I lost control, and you were hurt by it. For that, I am deeply sorry.” When she only stared at him, he took her silence as an opportunity to continue. “I’ve spent years aspiring to become a man cleansed of all sin. Atoning each morning and begging God for His forgiveness until one day I could lift the burden of temptation from my shoulders indefinitely.” 

Joseph paused, taking a moment to look into her eyes which were fixated on him.

“But you… you make me feel things - good and bad - that I have not felt in years. You bring out the best and the worst in me. I knew from the first night you stepped into my church - just from the sight of you - that if you were not Hell, you could very well be Heaven. And to my surprise, you are both.”

Her lips were parted, as if she was about to interject, but she remained silent the entire time. She could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it threw her for a loop. She was waiting for him to pick another fight with her, or tell her that they shouldn’t see each other anymore. That all of this had become too much to handle. An apology from Joseph wasn’t what she expected, let alone this. She knew the feelings he shared might not change his stance regarding their ongoing situation, but for now she didn’t mind. It was just nice to know that he cared that she was hurt. Joseph went on.

“I want to only ever show you to best parts of me; the man free of sin who is planning for the inevitable and leading his flock to a new world. If these months with you have shown me anything, it’s that God has put you in my path for a reason. You are truly a test of temptation. And tonight I have failed that test. I fail that test every day and every night in which we are tangled in sheets together. Lust, Wrath, Pride… It has become hard to avoid sin when I am around you. But God is forgiving.”

Joseph lifted his hands to cup either side of her face and he pressed his forehead against hers. This closeness always felt awkward to Regan in the beginning, but now she savors every moment of it.

“All I can ask is that you can forgive as well. My dearest Re, I am so sorry.”

Without much thought, she leaned into him further, catching his lips with her own. Both of her arms snaked around his neck to pull him closer. Joseph, who was caught off guard by this sudden wave of affection, hesitated to kiss back at first until he lost himself to her. They kissed for what felt like hours before she pulled away. When he looked down at her, he could see the reflection of the moon in her eyes.

“For you, I can forgive.” she breathed. 

Joseph eyes softened, and he placed a kiss on her forehead. After they sat comfortably together for a few moments, he rose to his feet and helped her stand before lifting her into his arms to carry her inside. And Regan clung to him as tightly as her arms would permit. She felt comforted knowing that he could recognize that he is not a man without flaws or emotions. Even if his leadership told the world otherwise. 

She could feel in her bones that this might be a turning point for the both of them; perhaps they could finally reach some sort of common ground. Or things might resume as normal. There was no telling in that moment, but for tonight, she savored the man who was not afraid to feel with her. They would be forgiven in the morning, after all.


End file.
